finally awake

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Posts by finally awake

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  12

  I don't like genocide

  by nancy drew in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the other day i was thinking again about what was at the core of my feelings about the wtbs and i realized that i don't feel right about anything that requires genocide for it to exist.

  when i think about the "paradise earth" relying on the death of 7 billion humans or the hebrew scripture loaded with extermination orders for anyone who got in the way i feel a wave of unhappiness.

  during the time i was in the org i kept thinking surely at the end of the 1000 years happiness won't exist on the backs of 99% of humanity.

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  finally awake

  thank you for putting into words one of those vague ideas floating through my head.
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  36

  University after leaving the Watchtower?

  by SweetBabyCheezits in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, you sexy sassy posters of jwn.

  i'm starting this thread in the hopes of finding... uh, hope.... and sharing it with others who are in a similar boat.

  i'm looking for input from anyone who meets the following criteria:.

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  finally awake

  I am so glad that so many ex-dubs are forging ahead with life! I went to college right out of high school (literally the day after HS graduation, I started classes at college), if I had unlimited money I'd go back and take every class they offer.
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  79

  Can you be in Love with two persons? My Dilemma...

  by Intel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first, don't laugh.

  i'm not some adolescent teen that is confused about his relationship.

  what i am going to relate here has become a maior hard ship and is really gnawing at me.

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  finally awake

  Intel, you sound like an honorable man. You could just disappear from your child's life, doing nothing more than paying whatever child support is ordered. My father didn't do even that much for me, and it still hurts. Whatever you decide, remember that even 40 years from now, your child will remember your actions. Make sure she knows how much you love her and how much you want to be with her.
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  21

  Do you get to choose who you" fall in love with" ?

  by caliber in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it's possible to choose people you get to know.

  so, in learning about the people around you, it is possible that the things you learn about them could be things you appreciate or, at the very least understand.

  many ex-jw's believe they married for other reasons (than love ) such as spiritual qualities or for security.

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  finally awake

  Not so much a matter or love in the KH than a desire to have a normal sex life. Since you can't have sex out of marriage, a lot of marriages in the Hall are based on a primal desire to have a sex life.

  I imagine that it's very difficult for many single people to maintain the level of "purity" demanded by the WTBTS. You can't make out, can't fornicate, can't masturbate - I would have been so tense and irritable I'd have scared off every interested male.
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  285

  Evolution disproved by 11 year old niece

  by StopTheTears in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  mary: what's evolution?.

  me: well it's kinda complicated.

  they think plasma gave birth to monkeys which gave birth to humans.

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  finally awake

  the really fundamental question, which neither evolution nor creationism really answers, is how did *anything* come into existence in the first place. The idea that "God" always was isn't really an answer.
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  18

  my wife saw shunning first hand

  by Aussie Oz in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  well the other day we dropped daughter back to her mother, after what was a fabulous whole week with me.. sitting on the verandah of the house is grandpa jw, about 80 and recently widowed.

  now, he is my ex father in law and we got on very good back in the day, even helped build his house.. anyway, i drop daughter off and i am looking at the man, who in the whole 10 mins that he sat there, gave one cursory glance our way as i stood on the footpath opposite the house talking to my kids.. this is a guy who will talk the leg off a chair, a guy who will start a conversation with a total stranger in the street, the man is a talker.. i mention to wife as we departed..."poor bastard, not even 'allowed' to say hello the father of his grandkids''.

  if i was not d/f i know he would have come over, no doubt whatsoever.

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  finally awake

  Forever scarred - that's awful! What on earth could be gained from disfellowshipping a dying person?
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  56

  "NEW LIGHT" FROM BROTHER WALDO D/O SANTA MARIA ,CALIFORNIA 1/22/2012 "HOW JEHOVAH IS LIKE BROTHERS ACCUSED OF BEING A CHILD MOLESTER!

  by Bubblegum Apotheosis in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i was shocked to hear how the slander against jehovah's name that we see in the world can be compared to a good man accused of being a child molester.

  he went on to describe how terrible such an accusation would be, and how "friends" of the accused would know he's not capable of such an act and would rally to his defense.

  at several points in the talk, he refers back to the child molester "example" and how eventually, despite the hideous slander heaped on a man in this situation (depicting jehovah in the bigger picture, we assume), that man's good reputation would be restored.

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  finally awake

  It is an unbelievably insensitive, hurtful illustration to use. Better to have said Jehovah was like a man falsely accused of murder, or falsely accused of embezzlement. That illustration just totally discounted the very real pain of the victims of sexual abuse, and totally reinforced the idea that "fine, upstanding christian" men could never be guilty of such a thing.
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  21

  Do you get to choose who you" fall in love with" ?

  by caliber in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it's possible to choose people you get to know.

  so, in learning about the people around you, it is possible that the things you learn about them could be things you appreciate or, at the very least understand.

  many ex-jw's believe they married for other reasons (than love ) such as spiritual qualities or for security.

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  finally awake

  I don't think anyone has a choice over who they feel attracted to - but people do have a choice in whether they allow those emotions to rule or whether they will engage their brain and make rational decisions. For example, I know that I have a "type", and I do not feel sexually attracted to men who don't fit that type. However, just because someone might be my "type" doesn't make me powerless to resist his charms or unable to determine if we are actually compatible. I am also free to choose to disregard my initial lack of attraction, although in my experience it turned out to be an absolute disaster.

  When the number of potential mates is so limited (like within the borg), I think it really makes it hard for people to pair off successfully. Especially because the borg actively discourages open and honest conversations about spirituality, the likelihood of people pairing off who are actually not at all compatible is pretty high. Plus, having to stifle large portions of your natural personality because they are "unchristian" doesn't help. I look back at the person I tried to be while I was in the borg, and I don't even recognize myself.
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  79

  Can you be in Love with two persons? My Dilemma...

  by Intel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first, don't laugh.

  i'm not some adolescent teen that is confused about his relationship.

  what i am going to relate here has become a maior hard ship and is really gnawing at me.

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  finally awake

  I've been married to Just Ron for 20 years. We had 8 years together before we got sucked into the Borg, and we did everything together - joined at the hip, truly one flesh. I can say with 100% certainty that the Borg puts a wedge between marriage partners and makes it impossible to truly be honest with each other and even with yourself. So now that you are out, it is going to take time to really get to know yourself. She is even more newly out of the Borg. You may find that you are totally incompatible, or you may find that you are like peas in a pod - but you just can't tell at this stage. You need to go really slowly - because any relationship with your ex is just like starting out with a stranger at this point. I am biased toward giving that relationship a chance, because you *are* going to have to deal with her for the rest of your life since you have a kid together, you may as well give it an honest shot with her.
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  18

  That one good friend

  by ballistic in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  recently i have an obsession with past times, i guess it's called middle aged or old aged, anyway.. i'm sure anybody out there remembers people from their childhood or growing up and thinks not a lot about it.. i remember some good jw buddies and here's an ode to them.. i met one outside a local cafe, and we stopped and looked at each other for 45 seconds, or what seemed like forever.

  because we lived in each others pockets and we got on so well.

  we would sit at our ibm 286 pcs and play wing commander to the late hour, and there was no internet.

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  finally awake

  geez dog, that's rough. i hope you heal up soon.